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(Taskmaster theme tune)

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(Cheering and applause)

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- Hello, everyone!

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And welcome to Taskmaster.

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In just a few moments you will witness

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the trials and tribulations of five comedians,

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as they tackle tasks for me, Greg Davis.

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Or, as I'm also known in certain circles:

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22 stone of prime marbled beef!

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But-- (stifling laughter)

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Those awaiting judgement go by the names of:

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David Baddiel,

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Ed Gamble,

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Jo Brand,

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Katy Wix,

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and Rose Matafeo!

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(Applause)

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And sitting uncomfortably next to me

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is a man, who naked, looks like a weird ill monkey,

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it's little Alex Horne!

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(Applause)

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- Hello Alex.
- Hello. Hi Greg, you alright?

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- Yes, I'm very well, how are you?

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- I'm looking forward to assisting you, 
I love assisting you.

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- Oh great, I love, um, chatting to you 
and you assisting me.

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- Great well, 'cause today 
I've got a special assistant's drawer.

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- Oh, good.
- I've got, um, what have I got, what sort of stuff do you--

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I've got lots of cotton buds in case you get clogged again.

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- Yeah.

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Clogged again?
- Clogged again, you might get clogged again.

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- Yeah, I might get clogged again.

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- I've got dry wipes in case you get wet,

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I've got wet wipes in case you get dry.

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I've got, um

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little nail scissors.

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I've got bigger nail scissors with crimping things,

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if you want, sort of more exotic nails.

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And I've got gas and air, 
because of your body situation.

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- My body situation?

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Let's crack on with the prize category today, 
please Alex Horne.

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- Okay, it's the one that should really prove itself

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by the end of the show,
because we've asked them to bring in

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the best thing to celebrate with, 
on a stage.

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- [Everyone] Ooohh.

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It's five points for the best one,

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and then five big celebrations at the end of the show.

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- Jo Brand, what do you think the best thing 
to celebrate with is, on stage?

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- For me, the best thing

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to celebrate with on stage, is a person.

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And as he can't be here today,

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there is a life-size cardboard cut-out of him.

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And his name is Andy Robinson,

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and he's a stand-up comedian and I've toured with him

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for about 17 or 18 years.

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He's the nicest man in comedy.

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And I mean that, Greg.

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- There he is.
- Look at him.

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- Aww, that's nice.

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- That's just celebrating on stage 
with some cardboard, isn't it?

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- Yeah, but it's a representation of his spirit.

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- So, his spirit is cardboard?

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- I'll tell you something about Andy Robinson, 
he once infiltrated a cult.

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- True. 
- Really?

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- It wasn't him actually, 
It was a cardboard cut out.

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- Now then, David.

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- Well, I think the best thing to celebrate with

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on a stage, is this.

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Now, admittedly...

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(Laughter)

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Admittedly, it might seem a down beat thing 
to celebrate with.

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But I thought you could add to it, this.
You see.

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And then, and then this.

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Right? And then, put it together,

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you have a street party,

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with an open top bus, on stage.

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- Lovely.

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That's great, and for those, um,

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members of the community who have to use a mobility scooter,

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I'm sure that'll give them a real lift.

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(Laughter)

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So far, two things to celebrate on stage with,

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have been really great.
Katy.

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- It's gonna-- it's about to get better. 
- Wooooo.

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- What better way to celebrate on stage

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then with a candy floss machine.

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- There it is, 
it will be on stage at the end of the show.

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- Tell me, is it a great thing to celebrate with?

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- I tried to think of something 
I hadn't seen anyone celebrate

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with on stage, but that I'd like to see someone.

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You know it's an action, 
something to do with your hands.

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- Yeah, there's Beyonce taking a final bow,

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whipping up a big pink one.

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- I thought it was a bit of a camp laugh.

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- Paint a situation for me,

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where you would celebrate 
with that big camp laugh, though.

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- Like, Wimbledon, something like that.

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- Federer wins his ninth Wimbledon,

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- Yeah.
- He runs round,

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and he gets his racket.

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- Great, any, like ball based sport,
anything like that.

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- So, Rose

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can you possibly do worse than any of these people?

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- I have brought along all of the accoutrements

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you would need for a ribbon cutting ceremony.

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So, I have over sized scissors,

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ribbons and, I think 'stonchions'?

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- Stanchions. 
- Yeah, I knew that.

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Stanchions.

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I think this would be a really good
thing to celebrate with because

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say you're a mayor, you know--
mayor?

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- Mayor?
That's closer to a meerkat than a mayor.

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- You're the mayor.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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I think it just adds a certain amount of ceremony to it.

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Like if you're opening a new library, it's like,

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it's not a celebration until you got 
a ribbon and a big old pair of scissors.

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- Listen it's supposed to be the best thing to celebrate with on stage.

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Why am I opening a fucking library with it?

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- Oh, you've got to celebrate opening a library.

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- There's no stage.

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Are we erecting a stage for me to go and open a library?

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- Okay, well you know, chill out.

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(Laughter)

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- One left.

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- Uhhhhhh, Ed Gamble.

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- Hello.
- Hello.

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- I have brought the best thing to celebrate with on a stage.

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I've made it myself.

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It's what I like to call my 'Confetti Canon Party Pants.'

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- Here they are.

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(Laughter and applause)

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- Right.

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- How sensitive is it, does it go off very easily?

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(Laughter)

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- Once you get used to it and become more experienced,

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you know, you can release it 
exactly when you want to.

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- Yeah, great.

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- Any follow up questions, Greg?

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- Nope!

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If you came on stage with that, 
I would be celebrating straight away.

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(Laughter)

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You've all done well, 
so I'm not going to give anyone one point.

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- Right.
- Okay.

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But I'm going to put Katy and Rose with two points.

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- Joint fourth.

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- I like David's bus, because he took the trouble

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to staple a bus onto a mobility scooter.

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And I think it's probably 
a very positive message somewhere,

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somewhere.

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Four points I'm giving to Jo.

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Just because I want to make sure

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that Andy Robinson doesn't get upset.

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With five points, 
because I want to see

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all sparks and things flying out of his willy,

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Ed Gamble.

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(Applause)

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Let's get a proper task on the way.

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- Okay
- Sweet, sweet baby.

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- Well, thank you.

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Thank you daddy.
Okay, this one features water.

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(Taskmaster task tune)

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Hello, Rose.
- Hi.

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- Have a stand on the compass.

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- Oh compass, yeah.

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- I can't see a task thing.

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Brilliant.

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(Laughter)

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- Thank you.

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- I see you as an Elizabethan washer woman.

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- Thank you.

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- You're welcome.

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- I thought we were gonna turn. 
(laughs)

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Just thinking that, how this is gonna move.

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- "Make the most striking water feature."

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- "You have 20 minutes."

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- "Your time starts now."

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- Water feature involves continuous supply of water, doesn't it?

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Is there a hose?
Yeah, there is a hose.

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- Do you want me to get you a hose?
- Yeah.

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But I'd like it attached to something.

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A tap. 
- Yep, okay.

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(Applause)

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- What an interesting contrast in the reactions,

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to Ed's reaction.

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Because you were disappointed that we hadn't constructed

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a giant turntable underneath the concrete,
so that you could revolve around.

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- I think for a moment, 
I thought I was in the film Labyrinth or something.

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- Whereas, Ed saw some paper come through a mangle,

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and was delighted by it.

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David became a really boring teacher.

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I wrote it down: 
"A water feature involves a constant supply of water."

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(Laughter)

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Ahhh, Mr. Baddiel,

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can we go out and play?

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Come on tube-head, let's see some action.

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- Our first water feature film stars Rose Matafeo, Katy,

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and it's everyone's favourite Brand, Jo.
Here we go.

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- Do you have a hose I can use?

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Where is it?
- Do you want me to go and get it for you?

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- Yes please.

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That attaches to a water source.

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- Yes.
- Thank you.

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- I think what I'm gonna do is

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do a water feature in the sink.

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This is a bit more complicated than I thought, Alex.

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Well, what I'm going to do now is 
I'm going to pour water.

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- Here it comes.

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- Ah, striking! (Laughs)

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- I don't really know what's going to happen.

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- So, here we go.

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There we go, while you drink your cup of tea,

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and you listen to the gentle tinkling sound

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of a child's wee.

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It's a little bit uneven, but it sounds nice.

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- I mean, I should-- I added more stuff to it.

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- I can't hear you very well, 
'cause it's raining very hard.

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- It is, isn't it.
- Yeah.

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- I mean, I feel like I'm the water feature, 
you know what I'm saying?

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- Can I have a bit more water please?

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Bit more please.

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- Here it comes.

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- It's gonna go into bloody space.

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Oh my God, it's gonna explode.

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- There it goes.

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Is that your striking water feature?

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- Yep, there she goes.

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Look at that, that's beautiful.

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- Wow.

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- I think there's not much coming out of this duck.

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It doesn't make a very relaxing noise at the end.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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- It was really great, up until the point

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you revealed that you were 
pouring a child's urine through it.

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And that it collapsed, 
but it was really spectacular up until that point.

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- Yeah, I thought it was working really well,
I quite like the bit at the end.

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- And I thought yours was a fairly powerful metaphor,

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Rose, for what humanity's done to the planet.

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- Yeah, that's what it was supposed to be.
- Have I read that right?

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- Absolutely.
- Yeah?

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Now then,

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talk about promising big things, 
and not delivering.

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- Mine had meaning.

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- The clattering in the shed,

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I was thinking, this is going to be incredible,
this thing.

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And then you came out 
with a piggy bank with a hole in it.

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But you must have been like...

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- I did it with a big knife.

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- Then you stuck the hose in, and I thought 
'Oh she's back in the game here.'

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Because that pig is going to explode.

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- But at the end it had a good old, 
good old height on it.

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- No. 
- It was a squirting pig.

254
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:30,500
- But the way the thing-- I managed to get it standing upright,

255
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,000
was quite clever, with gravel.

256
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,000
- Oh, that's true. 
- That really helped,

257
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,600
without that it would have been bad.

258
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,500
- Oh no, you're right,

259
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,700
'cause for a second I thought you just 
bashed a hole in a piggy bank and stuck a hose in it.

260
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,800
(Laughter)

261
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,600
Ooh, two water features to go,

262
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,400
but you're going to have to wait for them, sorry!

263
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,900
(Applause)

264
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,100
(Applause)

265
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,100
Hello.

266
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,700
Welcome back to Taskmaster.

267
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,100
Alex, can you remind us of what we've been watching.

268
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,200
- Yes please.
- Yes please!

269
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,500
- The current task,

270
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,300
involves making the most striking water feature.

271
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,300
Which is why Katy used a piggy bank,

272
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,700
Jo piled up some crockery, 
and Rose found a Wellington boot.

273
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,500
But, there's hope now

274
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,000
in the form of David and Ed.

275
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,900
- Right let's see what we've got.

276
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,100
What ya gonna do, Ed.

277
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,200
- Okay so, what we need to do is a fountain.

278
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,000
Probably using the bath.
- Okay.

279
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,600
- Elevation is key.

280
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,500
Have we got any other funnels?

281
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,800
- Have we got any other funnels?
- Yeah.

282
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,300
- You can make a funnel.

283
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,100
- No that's not what I want.

284
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,700
- Okay, well let's climb in the bath.

285
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,200
- You want me to climb into the bath?
- Yeah.

286
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,300
Well, also I want you to be like a,

287
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,300
you know like a Greek God.

288
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,800
Can you take your top off?

289
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,000
(Audience laughter)

290
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,000
- Yes.
- Okay.

291
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,600
- How do you feel about...

292
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,500
popping your top off?

293
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,900
- I don't like doing it.

294
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,100
- I want you to take your top off for the water feature.

295
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,700
- I just-- don't need your trousers off.

296
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:07,100
- No, I wasn't, I was just loosening that bit.

297
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,500
- Is there a pitch fork?
I think I've seen a pitch fork.

298
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:12,400
- How much hair do you have on your chest?

299
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,000
- More than you think.
- Okay.

300
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,700
- [Audience] Ohhhhhh

301
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,600
- So can you look like, sort of like Neptune?

302
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,300
Hold that like it's a--

303
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,100
- Oh yeah.
- Like that.

304
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,000
Like a far away look in your eyes?
Yeah, that's brilliant.

305
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:30,600
No, it looks sort of Russian.

306
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,400
- Could you hold these?

307
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,800
Yeah.

308
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:37,900
- Crown.

309
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,600
- Well this is what I'm trying to work out, Alex.

310
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:43,100
- Just putting this in for detail.

311
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,200
- Am I doing the right thing?
- Yeah, it's sexy.

312
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,500
- Got any spare trousers?

313
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,800
- Well, I wasn't planning to spray any water out of me.

314
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,800
- Oh, fine. 
You're just top off.

315
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,500
- Yeah, top off's really solidarity.

316
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,900
- Oh!
- Yeah, that's gonna happen, mate.

317
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,600
Strap in, you're a mermaid.

318
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,500
- Okay, can you do the far away look?
Put that on your head.

319
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,300
That's disappointing.

320
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,200
Shit.

321
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,700
Look at that, that's kind of better.

322
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:20,500
- What do you want me to do?
- Just look at, look faraway-eyes.

323
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,100
The sea, the sea, the waves.

324
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,800
I don't know why I've got my top off.

325
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,500
- So, here's how it's gonna go:

326
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,400
You're gonna spray some water 
out your mouth when I give it to you

327
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,500
and then you're gonna sing:

328
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,800
- (Sings) "Ahhhhh, I am a mermaid who lives by the sea,

329
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,300
why won't a sailor come visit me?"

330
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,200
Right? Okay.

331
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:45,900
Go.

332
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,300
- (Sings)"Ahhhhhhhh,

333
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,400
"I am a mermaid who lives in the sea,

334
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,100
"why won't a sailor come visit me?"

335
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,300
- There you go, look at that.

336
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,300
That's perfect now, you see?

337
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,500
Yay, the crowds roar.

338
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,500
- Perfect.

339
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,300
- Thank you, Alex.
- Turn it off.

340
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,900
- Cheers, mate.
- Ed?

341
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,200
- There we go.

342
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,500
- Thank you, David.

343
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,600
- I'll take this back to the kitchen.

344
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,700
(Cheering and applause)

345
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,300
- I mean... (laughs)

346
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,200
I mean we barely need to discuss it.

347
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,800
One of the most triumphant things I've seen.

348
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,300
That beautiful merman.

349
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:47,100
Just one boob, one boob spraying.

350
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,600
- We were trying for a while to get two boobs going,
weren't we Alex?

351
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,200
- You were trying for quite a while.

352
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,300
- We decided that--
- You decided.

353
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,300
- I decided...

354
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,600
I decided it was preferable to have a strong jet from one,

355
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,500
rather than a dribble from both.

356
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,100
- I couldn't agree more.

357
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,000
- As soon as he went into the shed,
he went "I know what to do",

358
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,400
with very grim determination, 
and then set about it.

359
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,700
Whereas David's was,
felt like it was more on the hoof.

360
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,900
- Whilst I enjoyed the final image,

361
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,700
this is what it put me in mind of,

362
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,800
it put me in mind of two middle aged blokes

363
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,600
who have told their wives

364
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,300
that they are going to be building a water feature.

365
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,300
So that they can enjoy

366
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,100
openly homoerotic fun.

367
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,600
It was a water feature-based 
Brokeback Mountain, for me.

368
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,300
- Yeah, no we fell in love while it was happening.

369
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,300
As far as I remember.
- You fell in love.

370
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,700
- "Oh no, it looks like my top's fallen off as well."

371
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,400
(Laughter)

372
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,300
"Well, what ever will our wives think?"

373
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,400
(Laughter)

374
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,800
Okay, look let me give out some points. 
I don't think it's that difficult.

375
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,500
- Right.
- I'm gonna go least striking water feature.

376
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,500
I feel guilty about doing it,

377
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,100
because umm,

378
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,900
the preparation sounded so spectacular.

379
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:05,600
- Oh here we go.
- But the least striking water feature for me,

380
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,200
was Katy's dribbling pig.

381
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,500
So I can only give her one point, 
I apologise.

382
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,200
- Fine.

383
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,600
- The second least spectacular striking water feature

384
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,700
for me, because

385
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,600
it utilised household equipment,

386
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,300
I'm giving Jo two points. 
- Right, two to Jo.

387
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,600
- And, umm, because of it's powerful metaphor,

388
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,000
I'm giving Rose three points.
- Okay, now then...

389
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,600
- And now, David's hot, sexy bit of water feature

390
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,800
gets four points.

391
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,000
And obviously, the one boobed

392
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,800
jet-propulsion mermaid gets five points.

393
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,800
S to the C, to the O-R-E,

394
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,300
score board please.

395
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,400
- Okay, well first of all I can tell you 
the series scores at this stage, it's exciting.

396
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,300
We have joint fourth place,

397
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,400
Jo and David both have 48 points.

398
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,500
Katy's got 56, Rose has got 57.

399
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,800
Ed has zoomed up into the lead with 62 points.

400
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,200
(Applause)

401
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,100
Currently, Katy's in last with three,

402
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,100
and Ed is in the lead with 10 points. 
There we go.

403
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,900
A maximum, a maximum 10.

404
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,900
- Full marks for little Gamble.

405
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,900
Okay, so do you have something 
more sociable this time?

406
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,900
- More sociable, I do actually, 
I have a sociable task and it's a team task

407
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,700
so it's double sociable and here it is.

408
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,600
(Taskmaster task music)

409
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,600
Oh hello, Jo.
- Oh hello, Alex.

410
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,200
- Hello, Alex.
- Hello David.

411
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,800
Hello, Ed.
- Hello, Alex.

412
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,000
- Hello, Katy.
- Hello.

413
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,800
- Hello, Rose.
- You remember my name, this is awesome.

414
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,300
- Oh, it's Rose...

415
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,700
- Is opening the task, the task?

416
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,900
- [The team] Whoooaaaaaaa.

417
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,600
- "Bring a classic board game to life."

418
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,100
- "Best real-life board game wins."

419
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,700
- "You have one hour."

420
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,100
- "Your time starts now."

421
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,800
Right.
- I love it!

422
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,600
- What board games do you--

423
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,900
- Well, not one that everyone will think of.

424
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,300
- Let's all say a board game at the same time and see--

425
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,000
- A classic one we'll want to bring to life?
- Right.

426
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,300
Three, two, one,

427
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,600
- [Ed and Rose] Cluedo.
- [Katy] Chess.

428
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,400
- Let's rule out snakes and ladders, chess...

429
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,000
- KerPlunk?
- Ohh yeah.

430
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,900
Jenga?
- Buckaroo, Mouse Trap?

431
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,500
- Mouse Trap's good.

432
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,200
- And another one, called uhh...

433
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,200
Operation Seelöwe,

434
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,200
which is about the Nazi invasion of Britain.

435
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,200
- Jenga, Operation...

436
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,900
- Oh Operation's quite funny.

437
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,100
- What about that one Don't Wake Dad?

438
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:46,800
- I don't know Don't Wake Dad, but what about,

439
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
the one that's like a medical one.

440
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,400
What's it called?
- Operation.

441
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,700
- Operation, with like-- and you have to take out

442
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,100
a liver and a spleen from a person.

443
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,700
(Applause)

444
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,800
- I don't like keeping drawing a distinction 
between the two age groups.

445
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,000
But it does fascinate me that

446
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,400
the three younger people were like, 
getting all excited

447
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,200
listing game, after game, after game.

448
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,400
And the first thing that David mentions

449
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,100
is a game that no one's heard of, 
about the scourge of the nazis.

450
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,300
- Yeah, Operation Seelöwe.

451
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:28,900
It was a war game in which the nazis invaded Britain,

452
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,100
or as a Jew, it was a nightmare,

453
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,800
that I once had. 
I'm not entirely sure, one of the two.

454
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,900
- Amazing that you knew Operation Seelöwe,

455
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:37,800
but couldn't remember the name of Operation.

456
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,100
(Laughter and applause)

457
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,100
- A board game will be brought to life, 
right after the following

458
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,600
really, really, really, really great adverts.

459
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,800
(Applause)

460
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,400
(Applause)

461
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,500
Hello.

462
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:03,600
Welcome back to Taskmaster, 
it's good to have you here.

463
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,200
- Yes, and important viewers,
are very important.

464
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,400
Board games then, 
first of all we're going to see the team of three.

465
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:12,600
That's Rosie, Eddie and Kate. 
Here we go.

466
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,800
(Country banjo music)

467
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,900
- [Together] One, two, three.

468
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,900
- Well this is a mighty fine looking donkey here.

469
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:30,900
I wonder if he can take the weight of my little fiddle.

470
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,700
- Well, look at this disgusting sandal.

471
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:41,000
It's got velcro on it, which is ideal,

472
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,900
for my purposes.

473
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800
- Well, you can't forget old grandma's rolling pin.

474
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,500
(Donkey braying)

475
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,800
Uh-oh, the donkey sounds mighty agitated.

476
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,200
- Angry, angry eyes.

477
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:56,900
Y'all gone fishin'.

478
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,700
Here comes the wine rack.

479
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,200
Flap your ears.

480
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,600
- A wooden spoon?

481
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,200
- A horse on a donkey?

482
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,500
A horse next to a violin.

483
00:23:10,700 --> 00:23:12,300
(Both scream)

484
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,200
(Applause)

485
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,700
(Cheering and applause)

486
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,400
- I suppose the only thing I've got
is the playability element of it because,

487
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,900
Buckaroo, which I didn't have as a child, 
because my mum selfishly wouldn't buy it

488
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,800
But some of my, umm-- f...

489
00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:34,800
- It's okay.

490
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,800
- Some of my wealthier friends did have it.

491
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,000
It had a spring system,

492
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,600
and so in the original game,
you two would be nervous

493
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,900
about when the Buckaroo was going to kick.

494
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,500
This was very much, on the whim of the donkey.

495
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,700
- It said bring it to life.

496
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:51,800
Bring it to life.

497
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,000
- You know, we didn't have a spring
because we had an actual person.

498
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,400
- If you wanted a playable version of Buckaroo,

499
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,800
we could have just bought Buckaroo.

500
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,500
- Yeah.

501
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:00,400
- I just think you should have

502
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,500
attached some sort of spring system to Ed,

503
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:04,000
so that he wasn't in control of--

504
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,800
- I am the spring system.

505
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,000
- Yeah, he's the spring system.

506
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,100
- Yeah, but you're a conscious being.

507
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,700
- Oh, I'm so sorry!

508
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:13,000
(Laughter)

509
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:16,000
- The original had three sensitivity levels

510
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,700
that were adjustable via a switch under the saddle.

511
00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,000
- Thank you!
- Yeah there was nothing like that.

512
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
- I've got three sensitivity levels.

513
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,600
And I'll be honest, 
I'm on my top fucking one right now.

514
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,100
(Applause)

515
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,000
- We've had one attempt 
involving a donkey and a wine rack

516
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,700
Here comes David and Jo's attempt.

517
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,700
(Intense task music)

518
00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:44,000
(Buzzing)

519
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,300
- So, I'm gonna go for your kidney.

520
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,200
- Okay.

521
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,500
I think you did it without touching my body, so--

522
00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:54,900
- I think I did.

523
00:24:54,900 --> 00:24:56,500
I'm gonna try a challenge now.

524
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,300
- Okay.

525
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,900
(Siren blaring)

526
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,500
- So one point to you is it, Jo?
- One point to me.

527
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,400
- Okay, I'm gonna go for butterfly.

528
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,700
- Okay.

529
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,200
- Ow!
That really hurt.

530
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,800
Ow, my brain's fallen off.

531
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,600
- Oh.

532
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:17,100
- Oh, I'm afraid--
- Oh, no.

533
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:19,300
Oh God, this is gonna be hard.

534
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:26,500
Weeee!
- Ah, you've done it.

535
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,700
- Yay!

536
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,100
- Hang on, am I left with anything else?

537
00:25:29,100 --> 00:25:30,700
- Surgeon extraordinaire.

538
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,100
- Thank you, David.
- Swift recovery, I hope.

539
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,000
See ya later.
- Bye bye.

540
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:37,100
(Applause)

541
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,600
- Well, I've got a lot of questions here.

542
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:41,900
I'm gonna ask the first one to Jo.

543
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,800
How soon was it into the task,

544
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,400
when David volunteered to take his clothes off?

545
00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:49,300
(Laughter)

546
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,300
- About two seconds.

547
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,300
- Incredible isn't it?
I've got a question for you now, David.

548
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,400
Why were you hitting yourself so hard?

549
00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:59,400
(Laughter)

550
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,800
- I don't really know why, 
possibly because

551
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,200
part of the homoerotic experience of this show

552
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,500
is to hurt myself.

553
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:08,000
I haven't really worked that out.

554
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,700
- What for me, was so charming about the game 
is you so painstakingly

555
00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:14,300
replaced the organs in the body 
with child friendly things.

556
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:16,500
A butterfly, a cauliflower,

557
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,200
oh and of course, and actual kidney.

558
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,300
(Laughter)

559
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,500
This is a very tough decision for me, I'll tell you that now,

560
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,400
'cause I thought they were both excellent games.

561
00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:29,000
You know it's not like me to cop out, 
but I am gonna cop out.

562
00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:32,100
I'm gonna give them both three points, 
that's what I'm gonna do.

563
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,300
I can't separate them

564
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200
(Applause)

565
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:37,100
Woooo!

566
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,100
Ah, what's next?

567
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,700
(Laughter)

568
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:43,000
- Well, we've got one more task.

569
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,400
This one's all because the Davies loves tray.

570
00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:47,800
Ready?

571
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,100
(Taskmaster task music)

572
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,400
- Hi.
- Hello, Katy.

573
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,000
- Hey, hey tray.

574
00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:14,100
- "Say a letter of the alphabet."

575
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,100
- Thank you.

576
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,900
- "Put the most things 
beginning with the letter you just said,

577
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
on this tray."

578
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000
- "The tray may not leave Alex,

579
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,900
and Alex may not leave the lab."

580
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,100
- "Most things beginning 
with the letter you just said, on the tray

581
00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:43,000
in five minutes from now, wins."

582
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,400
So can I go walking about?

583
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:46,900
Alright.

584
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,600
Bye, I might just not come back, 
I'll have a look.

585
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,800
- Okay then, thanks Jo.

586
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,900
- "Say a letter of the alphabet, you have 10 seconds.
Your time starts now."

587
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,900
A letter of the alphabet.

588
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,900
(Laughter)

589
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,300
Ha ha ha.

590
00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:11,700
"You must now pick a letter of the alphabet 
and say that letter out loud."

591
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,500
You must be so proud of yourself that that worked.

592
00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:24,400
- [Audience] Oohhhhh.

593
00:28:24,700 --> 00:28:26,200
- It's a mistake, wasn't it?

594
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:28,100
Bollocks.

595
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,400
(Laughter)

596
00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:33,200
(Applause)

597
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,200
- You had an unfortunate experience 
with little Alex Horne, didn't you Ed?

598
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,200
- I genuinely panicked,

599
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,800
and I didn't know what we were supposed to do,

600
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,700
so I panicked and said "a letter of the alphabet."

601
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:44,500
- Yeah, and he threw it in your face, didn't he?

602
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:45,600
- Threw it right back in my face.

603
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,700
- By predicting your little joke.

604
00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:49,500
- I only had the envelope in just for--
I knew it was going to be you doing it.

605
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,100
- Did you?
- No, really?

606
00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:52,800
- He did predict it would be you that did it,

607
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,200
so you might like to reflect on that.

608
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,400
(Laughter)

609
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,500
Doesn't excuse him getting all cocky, though.

610
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:01,700
- Alex, you should tell someone 
if you're being bullied.

611
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,500
You can tell somebody.

612
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,000
I don't, I don't care.

613
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,300
Are you telling me?

614
00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:12,000
(Laughter)

615
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,600
I didn't mean that, it's horrible.

616
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,500
I'm horrible.

617
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,900
- You fell into a little trap there, didn't you?
- I did, yeah.

618
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,600
- Good, that's him back in his box. 
Come on, let's see some stuff.

619
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,700
- Okay well, these two both went for B.

620
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:27,300
Let's see what they gathered, 
it's Jo and Katy.

621
00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:30,500
- Okay.

622
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,900
That doesn't begin with B.

623
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,000
Do they have to be all different things?

624
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,800
- All the information's on the task, Katy.

625
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,700
- These are biscuits.

626
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,800
Okay?
- Yes.

627
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:48,100
Just trying to count them.

628
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,500
- Bread.

629
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:55,500
These are birthday candles, okay?

630
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,300
- And you're sure they begin with B?

631
00:29:57,300 --> 00:29:59,300
- Yeah, 'cause they're birthday candles.

632
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,200
- You got one minute, Jo.

633
00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:02,900
- Okay.

634
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,700
- A bee, baby's head, bottle.

635
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:08,600
Butter.

636
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,400
- 10 seconds, Jo.

637
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:20,600
(Blows whistle)

638
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,600
Box, a bag.

639
00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:25,900
Here's a box.
- Another box.

640
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,500
- Bra?

641
00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:29,500
- You've only got five seconds.

642
00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:31,700
- Takes everyone longer than that.

643
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:33,200
Even the pros.

644
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:36,400
(Blows whistle)
- What do you mean by pros?

645
00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:38,400
- Tell you after.

646
00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:41,500
(Applause)

647
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,900
- I was not surprised that Jo didn't 
come and go because,

648
00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:51,600
she has minimised movements 
during this whole competition.

649
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,200
She went round, she gathered her things.
Bam, there!

650
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,400
- I thought if I went twice, 
I might have to call an ambulance.

651
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,900
All her things also, were beginning with B, I think.

652
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:02,900
Bread, banana, brush, bottle, butter.

653
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,200
But we're all happy with bog roll?
- Yeah. So what was her total?

654
00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:08,300
- 136 things, or 9 different things.

655
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,400
- Oh no, we'll count the 136, l
et's get that straight, straight away.

656
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,200
- Right, okay. Which means that Katy got 168,

657
00:31:14,300 --> 00:31:16,700
if you include the 66 birthday candles.

658
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,000
- Well, if you have bog roll, 
you gotta have birthday candles.

659
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,600
- Course you have, one follows the other.

660
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:26,500
And I obviously enjoyed watching Alex squirm,

661
00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:28,500
when 'pros' where raised at the end.

662
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,100
- Well she was threatening 
to take her bra off in 10 seconds.

663
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:33,000
- I thought it was like, fun flirting.

664
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,300
- So these boys can--

665
00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:37,700
David Baddiel can take his top off, 
but she can't flip her bloody bra off?

666
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:38,700
- I blushed at that as well.

667
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,300
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm all for Katy whipping her bra off.

668
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:44,200
- Want to see some more?
- Yes please.

669
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,100
- Okay, we're gonna see E with D and R with P.

670
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:55,400
How many is that?

671
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,000
- Is that my job?
- No, it's not. It's my job.

672
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,200
- Dinner plates.

673
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:03,600
Disposable gloves.

674
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,700
- Hi Rose.
- Hello.

675
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,500
Pimm's.
- That's a nice combination.

676
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:08,900
- Dextrose tablets.

677
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:14,300
Each of those is a thing, and that's Dextrose packet.

678
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,300
Diabetic equipment.
- Pardon?

679
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,000
- Diabetic equipment!

680
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:23,500
- It's a tube, fuck.

681
00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:25,100
I'm a stickler for the rules.

682
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,700
- Drinks holders.
- Drinks holders?

683
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,500
- Petals.

684
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,500
- Diet sodas.

685
00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:38,100
- Would you count this as newspaper or paper?

686
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:39,500
- It's up to you.

687
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,800
- Just count that as paper. 
No.

688
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,900
- Dips, dairy.

689
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,300
Dask.

690
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,800
- Pardon?
- Dask.

691
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,900
- Thank you, Rose.
- Thank you.

692
00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:55,600
- Peas, petals, Pimm's and paper. 
- Yes.

693
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,500
(Blows whistle)

694
00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:59,800
(Applause)

695
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,400
- I mean, strong from both people obviously, 
the peas, what an opener.

696
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:06,700
Gotta be pleased with the peas.

697
00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:08,500
- I was trying to like, follow some rules,

698
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,300
'cause I feel like I've got a moral compass.

699
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,500
And I--
- Not like these clowns.

700
00:33:14,700 --> 00:33:17,300
- I mean, drink receptacles... 
I mean, that's--

701
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:19,800
- Drink receptacles, my sweet ass.

702
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,200
- I wish I put newspaper on there, that's all, but you know...

703
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,800
- She did put 25 sheets of paper.
- Yep

704
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,300
- 30 petals, one bottle of Pimm's, 250 peas.

705
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,300
(Applause)

706
00:33:35,300 --> 00:33:36,600
- And Ed,
- Hello.

707
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,500
- Well, let's just strike drinks holders right off now.

708
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,700
- How many would it have been, 
if I'd been allowed drinks holders?

709
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,200
- Loads, 111.

710
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:44,700
- Fine.
- Victory or nothing, right?

711
00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:46,100
- Fuck it, I call 'em cups. 
- Yeah.

712
00:33:46,300 --> 00:33:48,400
(Applause)

713
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,100
That's it for this part.

714
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:54,800
But come back for some big stage celebrations,

715
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:58,300
and David Baddiel scrapping about 
with things beginning with Q.

716
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,700
(Applause)

717
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,400
(Applause)

718
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,100
Hello again.

719
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,400
It's part four and you know what that means?

720
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,300
- No, it can't be.
- It is.

721
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:17,500
- Really?
- Really.

722
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,500
- [Together] Re-cap time!

723
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,000
(Applause)

724
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,900
- Before the break, the contestants picked a letter, 
and then had to go and fetch

725
00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:30,200
as many things as they could, 
beginning with that letter and pop them on my tray.

726
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,800
David Baddiel picked the letter Q.

727
00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:34,500
Here is his attempt.

728
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,200
- So, I don't think I made it clear,

729
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,200
when I did this show I filled in a health form,

730
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,500
is I sometimes have a speech defect.

731
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,400
Uh, so this is a quamera.

732
00:34:46,100 --> 00:34:47,600
That's how I'm pronouncing it.

733
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,100
Quanana, qorange, quapple.

734
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:51,800
Tape queasure.

735
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,200
Queasure, I pronounce queasure.

736
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,600
- But you're calling that a tape queasure?

737
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:56,600
- It's a tape queasure, yeah.

738
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,700
- But beginning with Q?
- Queasure.

739
00:34:59,500 --> 00:35:01,400
Qorange, another qorange.

740
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,100
Quck, quock.

741
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,400
- How do you spell quock?
- Q-U-O-L-K...

742
00:35:06,700 --> 00:35:08,300
C-K. 
Quock.

743
00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:11,800
That's how I pronounce it, 
I know it's spelled

744
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,600
C-L-O-C-K, 
but I pronounce it quock.

745
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:19,700
Ok, that's wrong...

746
00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:22,500
I spell it like that too.

747
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:25,500
Quiraffe,

748
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:27,600
qaby, with a leaf on its head.

749
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,700
Queg Davies, Qalex Horne.

750
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,900
Qow, quenis.

751
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:36,500
This, is what Americans call quoffee.

752
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,900
I think I've won that one. 
- Do you?

753
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:42,400
- Yeah.
- Your speech sounds better now.

754
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,500
- I think I qwon that one.

755
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,900
(Rings bell)
Quell.

756
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:49,300
- Thank you, David. 
- Thanks.

757
00:35:50,100 --> 00:35:52,200
(Applause)

758
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,800
- Well, stop the press, I'm going to allow 'quoffee'.

759
00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:00,000
(Laughter)

760
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:03,300
- Thank you very much, 
the rest of it was quap wasn't is?

761
00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:06,800
- It's the quapest thing we've seen.

762
00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:09,600
- He was unlucky, I mean he missed--
there were quite a few things around the house,

763
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,200
- Were there?
- In the fridge there was quail eggs, quiche, quince.

764
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:14,100
Half a quesadilla and genuinely--

765
00:36:14,100 --> 00:36:16,600
- You put special Q stuff in the fridge,

766
00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:18,200
incase someone picked Q?

767
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:19,500
- We thought someone might pick Q,

768
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,000
and there was also 60 packs of Quavers, just so you know.

769
00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:24,000
- [Everyone] Ohhhhhh.

770
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,900
- 60 packs of Quavers?
- Yeah and if you opened them up--

771
00:36:25,900 --> 00:36:29,100
- Oh my God, if you empty those out, 
it would have been thousands of Quavers.

772
00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:31,600
- Yeah, but he would have gone, "Quisps".

773
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,800
(Laughter and applause)

774
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,300
- I feel terrible.

775
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,700
- So, David gets one point, 
two for Ed, three for Jo,

776
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,600
four for Katy, but Rose Matafeo

777
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,400
with a pure entry gets five points.

778
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,900
(Applause)

779
00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:53,200
- Let's take a glance at the scores.

780
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,200
- Okay, well it goes 10, 11, 12, 13,

781
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,000
but at the top is Ed Gamble with 15 points.

782
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,200
(Applause)

783
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,600
- Will you please vacate the area,

784
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,300
head to the stage for the final task of the show.

785
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:09,800
(Applause)

786
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,500
Who will read the task out?

787
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,300
- David Baddiel's gonna read this one.

788
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,700
- "Throw your things far, but not too far.

789
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,900
"Taking it in turns, you must select a thing

790
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:30,800
"and throw it beyond the line,

791
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:32,900
"but not off the runway.

792
00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:36,400
"If your thing does not end up in the safe zone,

793
00:37:36,700 --> 00:37:38,600
"you are disqualified.

794
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,500
"If all objects end up in the safe zone,

795
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,200
"the person who has thrown their thing 
the shortest distance

796
00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:46,600
"is disqualified.

797
00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:49,400
"You may not manipulate your things in any way,

798
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:50,800
"before throwing them.

799
00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:53,500
"Last player standing, wins."

800
00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:55,200
- Got it.
- Have you?

801
00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:00,800
- You pick a thing, you've got to get it over the line 
but not off the thing.

802
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,900
If you get it off the thing you're disqualified.

803
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,300
If everyone gets their things within the safe zone

804
00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:07,600
then the person who's thrown 
the shortest distance over that line

805
00:38:07,700 --> 00:38:10,100
is eliminated and we keep going
in picking a new thing

806
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:12,700
until everyone's out apart from one person 
who's the winner of the task.

807
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:13,600
- Correct.

808
00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:15,500
(Applause)

809
00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:18,000
- They're applauding, but I still didn't understand.

810
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,600
- It's like an educational video

811
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,600
showing the collapse of the human mind.

812
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,600
- They've got a swimming noodle, an egg, 
a birthday card and a grain of rice. Okay?

813
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,700
- Oh, I chucked the grain of rice, 
I thought it was dirt.

814
00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:33,500
(Laughter)

815
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,700
(Applause)

816
00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:41,100
- Okay, on the whistle 
please choose your first item and hold it aloft.

817
00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:43,600
One, two, three, (blows whistle)

818
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,700
Okay, egg, egg, rice, egg, noodle.

819
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:48,600
That's the order.
- Let's play.

820
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,200
- Okay, it's Ed to throw first.

821
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:54,500
Remember, the shortest distance
if they all make it into the safe zone, is disqualified.

822
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,100
- [Audience member] Go on, Ed.
- Thank you.

823
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:00,300
- It's a crazy choss. 
- Oh no!

824
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:03,200
(Audience moans)

825
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,100
Absolute bullshit.

826
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,800
- You thought you understood, but you didn't.

827
00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:15,000
- David, look at what you're holding!

828
00:39:15,700 --> 00:39:17,900
- I've worked it out from your mistake.

829
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:20,200
- Mate, that is bouncing where ever you throw it.

830
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,600
- The old rubber egg, eh?

831
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,800
- In second place, it's Rose,
if you can come to the throwing spot

832
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,700
and hurl your noodle, please.

833
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,600
- I'll just warn you now, 
that noodle is made entirely of egg.

834
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,800
(Laughter)

835
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,300
- Ohhh, God dammit.

836
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,400
- Could not be shitter.

837
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,800
(Laughter)

838
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,300
- Okay, next up yes, it's Jo to the oche.

839
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:51,500
With a grain of rice.

840
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,700
It's safe!

841
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,600
(Applause)

842
00:39:58,300 --> 00:39:59,900
- That's rice tossing!

843
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,500
- And Greg, it's egg time again, 
as we welcome David Baddiel.

844
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,300
- Thank you very much. 
- Is this a rubber egg?

845
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,200
(Laughter)

846
00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:18,000
- Yes! Yes! Noooo!

847
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,700
- That's gonna collapse, that will collapse.
That will collapse.

848
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,800
- Wow. 
- He's out!

849
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,300
- Come on.
- Oh my God.

850
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,500
(Applause)

851
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,700
- The final throw is Katy, with another egg.

852
00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:42,900
- Oh my God.
- [Audience member] Go, Katy!

853
00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:43,900
- Thank you.

854
00:40:48,300 --> 00:40:50,500
I'm worried that this is haunted like that one.

855
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,900
(Laughter)

856
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,100
- She's out!

857
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,500
(Applause)

858
00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:04,200
Well, it's the final.

859
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:06,600
So these three have got one point.

860
00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:08,700
These two will have either five or four points.

861
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:09,500
- Yes.

862
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:12,700
- So, when the whistle blows, 
please select your next item.

863
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,100
One, two, three, (blows whistle)

864
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,800
- Lovely.
- Noodle v. rice.

865
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:18,000
- Classic.

866
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,400
- It's gonna be Rose to throw first.

867
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:22,900
- The Young Pretender, Matafeo,

868
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:24,400
rice on!

869
00:41:24,700 --> 00:41:26,100
(Laughter)

870
00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:32,400
- Oh, lovely. Lovely.
- Oh lovely.

871
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:34,500
- Where did it go, I can't see it.

872
00:41:37,300 --> 00:41:40,300
- You've got to throw beyond that, 
but not beyond that, to win.

873
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:41,000
- Okay.

874
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,500
- You join us here,

875
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,600
the atmosphere electric

876
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,500
(Laughter)

877
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:51,500
- She's out.

878
00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:54,100
Four points for Jo.

879
00:41:55,900 --> 00:41:58,200
- Rose Matafeo.

880
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,800
Right, come down, we'll add that to the final scores.

881
00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:06,700
(Applause)

882
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:10,700
Well,

883
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,100
not very often that 
a new international sport is created.

884
00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:17,600
- So all the people who took the 'egg gamble' at the beginning

885
00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:19,400
went out, gets one point.

886
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,200
Ed, Katy and David. 
- Correct.

887
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,000
Then we had the final, 
Jo got four points,

888
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,300
but the winner was Rose Matafeo 
who got five points.

889
00:42:26,700 --> 00:42:28,700
(Applause)

890
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,200
And I've got the final scores, 
do you want to see who won the episode?

891
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,000
- Yeeeeeeeeesss!

892
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,400
- The winner with 18 points, 
- (Gasps)

893
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,600
is Rose Matafeo!

894
00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,200
(Applause)

895
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,400
- Rose Matafeo is tonight's winner!

896
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,500
Please head to the stage to celebrate
with the best possible things to celebrate with.

897
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,900
(Cheering and applause)

898
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:57,500
So, what have we learned today?

899
00:42:57,500 --> 00:43:01,100
We've learned that sometimes, 
it's nice to just turn off your tele.

900
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,600
Gather the family round,

901
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:05,500
and have a good old game 
of stopping the nazi hoards

902
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:08,400
from imposing their evil will on the entire world.

903
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,200
See you next time, for more nice times.

904
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,300
And now let's applaud tonight's winner again,

905
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,700
it is of course, Rose Matafeo!

906
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,300
(Applause)